Give and Take
Barter system has been in place since ages. We buy things and we pay in return. If you are good at something, sometimes you barter services to balance it out. Give and take has been the motto…..but don’t you think, we humans have carried it too far….we have started the barter system in relationships too. If you love me, I will love you, if you buy this for me, I will do that….blah blah….the list goes on and on… Remember friends…we are humans…we have different emotions. It’s not necessary that if you love someone, that person returns it with the same intensity. Sometimes, it may be much more than your expectations and on other times if may be very disappointing. It is very difficult to turn others toward us whom we love more than anything in this world. We crave for their attention & love, but they can't reciprocate as we do.
The love always must be unconditional and without expectations. When we love others we love with the feeling of possessiveness. We expect them to behave according to our wishes. We want them to be answerable for everything…their time, their money, their friends… And there starts the trouble of all misgivings and misunderstandings!! Every person has a right to live. Do not try to choke people by getting into their space. Let them breathe... The unconditional love we show or share should give freedom to that person. Only then there will be a beautiful harmony between the two who are in love.
Have you ever tried to hold the sand in a tight fist?? What happens?? The sand slips out from the space between your fingers…but if you keep the palm open, the sand stays. Relationships are just like this…the tighter you hold with possessiveness, the faster you lose out on them, but if you keep the palm open.... let the person breathe….love without conditions, the faster they grow.
But, do understand the difference between “unconditional love” and Co-dependent love. Codependent love implies that one attempts to meet all of the needs of the other, read their minds, to accept and overlook all of the partner’s behaviors and actions no matter how selfish or demanding. However, unconditional love does not mean putting your self esteem at stake or becoming a doormat. You can be together with someone and still remain fully yourself — as a person you like and respect. Unconditional love in a relationship begins with oneself. To set the foundation you must first have a strong sense of self-esteem and self-confidence. View yourself as lovable and worthy
The first step toward loving your partner unconditionally is learning to love yourself unconditionally. It requires understanding and communicating your own boundaries and limits, yet being flexible enough to adapt and compromise when possible. And most of all, it requires a daily mutual commitment to maintaining the health of the relationship and nurturing the bonds of love
When we love someone without expecting anything in return, that is when your love is unconditional, that brought you together in the first place. There is also a quote by Paulo Coelho in his novel The Alchemist that "One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving." Think about it!!
Barter system has been in place since ages. We buy things and we pay in return. If you are good at something, sometimes you barter services to balance it out. Give and take has been the motto…..but don’t you think, we humans have carried it too far….we have started the barter system in relationships too. If you love me, I will love you, if you buy this for me, I will do that….blah blah….the list goes on and on… Remember friends…we are humans…we have different emotions. It’s not necessary that if you love someone, that person returns it with the same intensity. Sometimes, it may be much more than your expectations and on other times if may be very disappointing. It is very difficult to turn others toward us whom we love more than anything in this world. We crave for their attention & love, but they can't reciprocate as we do.
The love always must be unconditional and without expectations. When we love others we love with the feeling of possessiveness. We expect them to behave according to our wishes. We want them to be answerable for everything…their time, their money, their friends… And there starts the trouble of all misgivings and misunderstandings!! Every person has a right to live. Do not try to choke people by getting into their space. Let them breathe... The unconditional love we show or share should give freedom to that person. Only then there will be a beautiful harmony between the two who are in love.
Have you ever tried to hold the sand in a tight fist?? What happens?? The sand slips out from the space between your fingers…but if you keep the palm open, the sand stays. Relationships are just like this…the tighter you hold with possessiveness, the faster you lose out on them, but if you keep the palm open.... let the person breathe….love without conditions, the faster they grow.
But, do understand the difference between “unconditional love” and Co-dependent love. Codependent love implies that one attempts to meet all of the needs of the other, read their minds, to accept and overlook all of the partner’s behaviors and actions no matter how selfish or demanding. However, unconditional love does not mean putting your self esteem at stake or becoming a doormat. You can be together with someone and still remain fully yourself — as a person you like and respect. Unconditional love in a relationship begins with oneself. To set the foundation you must first have a strong sense of self-esteem and self-confidence. View yourself as lovable and worthy
The first step toward loving your partner unconditionally is learning to love yourself unconditionally. It requires understanding and communicating your own boundaries and limits, yet being flexible enough to adapt and compromise when possible. And most of all, it requires a daily mutual commitment to maintaining the health of the relationship and nurturing the bonds of love
When we love someone without expecting anything in return, that is when your love is unconditional, that brought you together in the first place. There is also a quote by Paulo Coelho in his novel The Alchemist that "One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving." Think about it!!
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